Happy Birthday Tony!

Today would have been Tony’s 57th birthday.  I went to the DMV yesterday because I finally paid off Tony’s car and plan to sell it.  We each had a car in each of our names, not joint, to keep the debt/income ratio down.  It never dawned on me the last few months of his life to add me to the title to his car.

There was a man in his late 70s at the DMV directing people to the right line.  He asked why I was there, I explained that my husband passed away and I needed to get the title of his car in my name.  He looked up at me and said “he must have been young.”  I replied “Yes.”  He looked at me and said “know he is an angel looking down you with a million other angels.”  

It’s been so long since I’ve said those words “my husband passed away” and his kind words I thought I would have cried right then and there.

The months leading up to Tony’s death though, he didn’t have much of an appetite, and long time readers will remember that it got to the point where even the SMELL of food made him feel sick and he begged me not to cook anymore.  That was a tough blow, because I found solice in the kitchen.  The therapy.  I could get lost in a batch of bread dough and let all my troubles just melt away.

So I was shocked as shit when he asked for lamb chops for his 54th birthday – which would have been his last birthday on earth.  Here’s the deal – I never made lamb chops before, and I haven’t made them since.  But he loved them.  That was the last meal that I remember he actually ate more than one bite before pushing his plate away.

I miss his laughter, his touch, his kiss.  His miscellaneous texts during the day, his 11:30 a.m. call to my work just to say hello and that he loved me.

So today, my advice to you is to hug your kids, your spouse, significant other, dog – whoever you love in your life, and put your phone done for a while and just be thankful that they are still in your life, because no one is guaranteed tomorrow.

Thanks for all the birthday wishes for Joe yesterday – the pictures are fixed too – I didn’t realize they hadn’t shown up until late afternoon.  His wife surprised him with a trip to Belize and they are leaving today.  Not gonna lie, I had to look that up on a map – wasn’t exactly sure where that was!

And tomorrow is my Momma’s birthday – she’ll be 77!  My sisters family and Hannah and I are going to my Mom’s house for a Mexican fiesta.  It should be fun.

Make some great memories this weekend.  Make it a great day!

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  • Karen
    September 22, 2017 at 8:08 am

    I hope you have a day filled with beautiful memories, and a wonderful day with your mom. We all truly have so much to celebrate…thanks for reminding me of that.

    • Biz
      September 24, 2017 at 12:54 pm

      Thanks Karen – I have to remind myself that life is for the living 😀

  • Shelley B
    September 22, 2017 at 8:13 am

    Hard to believe he only would have been 57 – DMV man was right, he was too young. Sweet of him to say what he did, though. Hope you have a good day remembering the good times with Tony.

    • Biz
      September 24, 2017 at 12:55 pm

      He always told me he wasn’t going to live long, but I never believed him 🙁

  • Steph
    September 22, 2017 at 8:39 am

    I’ll be thinking of you today Biz. And thanks for the reminder to love while you can. Life is precious. xoxo

    • Biz
      September 24, 2017 at 12:55 pm

      Thanks Steph – I appreciate it 😀 Hugs back 😀

  • Kym
    September 22, 2017 at 9:24 am

    Hope you are flooded with all the great memories. If I remember, you have lots of birthdays around this time of year. Happy # 77 years young to your Mom. Enjoy your fiesta, I know your Mom will since she will be spending it with her favorite child and all. (smile, wink) Hugs to you today ((Hugs))

    • Biz
      September 24, 2017 at 12:56 pm

      Yep, Joe’s birthday is the 21st, Tony’s was the 22nd and my Mom’s the 23rd! We had a lot of fun at my Mom’s house – good to laugh!

  • Kimberly
    September 22, 2017 at 10:16 am

    This post gave me all the feels. That man at the DMV was so sweet to say what he did. I believe he is absolutely right, your beloved husband is watching over you. And now I’m craving a Mexican feast ?

    • Biz
      September 24, 2017 at 12:57 pm

      The DMV comment came out of nowhere, and nearly made me tear up right there – so sweet. And yes, you can never go wrong with a Mexican Fiesta! 😀

  • Sharline
    September 22, 2017 at 10:39 am

    My husband’s 71st Birthday is tomorrow too!

    I have just gotten to know you from your blog and WW…I feel very close to you spiritually…..

    I too enjoy cooking from my soul….

    Thank you for your contributions and your loving “demeanour”!!!!

    • Biz
      September 24, 2017 at 12:58 pm

      Happy birthday to your hubs! Thanks for walking along my journey of life through this blog – hugs!

  • Jamie Hood
    September 22, 2017 at 6:03 pm

    Hugs Biz

    • Biz
      September 24, 2017 at 12:58 pm

      Thanks Jamie! I love your letter board posts on Connect and Instagram 😀

  • Jessica
    September 25, 2017 at 7:48 am

    Thank you for the part that says “So today, my advice to you is to hug your kids, your spouse, significant other, dog – whoever you love in your life, and put your phone done for a while and just be thankful that they are still in your life, because no one is guaranteed tomorrow.” I needed this today, and I am thinking of you.