It was a long day yesterday, but I am not really sure that I ever mentioned that the job I am working at is Temp to Perm.  Meaning, if I work out, the firm will eventually hire me, otherwise if they don’t, my contract expires in 90 days and everyone goes their separate ways and that’s that.

First of all, I am so happy at my job.  Obviously I would love to spend my time in the kitchen, but we all know that isn’t fiscally responsible at this part of my life.  But what I love about my job now is that I am actually busy.  I feel useful.  I wasn’t busy at all at my old job and truth be told, I was worried that my skills had atrophied so much that I might not be able to handle the job.  Um, but who am I kidding – it’s me we are talking about!

But seriously, it’s nice not having to look at the clock to see how many hours it is until I have to leave, rather it’s looking at the clock thinking “I hope I can get it all done before I leave.”  So in the middle of the afternoon, when I was crazy busy and the office manager asked me into her office, my first response was “no.”  I had too much going on, but she said it would only take a minute, so I pulled myself away from my desk and when I got there, she said “come on in and shut the door.”  Fudge Crackers.  Usually that’s not a good sign.  But I am happy to say that they offered me a permanent position starting in January – whoop whoop!

Great salary, great benefits, and I know that I will be happy here. 

So I was happy that I had a big breakfast to hold me through the day because I was so busy that I never even had time to heat up my food.  Okay, that’s not totally true, but you know how you go from feeling hungry, to starving, and then not being hungry anymore?  Yep, that was me.

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No one at work knows of my love of food, or taking pictures of food, or my blog – but after a month at my new office I finally found an empty office to get a decent picture of my breakfast.  Seven ounce potato (which was half!) that I scooped out and scrambled with egg whites, and then when I got to work I nuked it for a couple minutes with 1/4 cup 2% cheddar cheese, topped with chopped spinach and hot sauce – a delicious and filling 7 smart point breakfast.  I ate my cup of grapes on the side throughout the day, but seriously this kept me full for a very long time.

I worked late, Hannah worked late and as I was on the train ride home, she texted me and asked if I wanted to meet her, Jacob and a friend of theirs at a restaurant right near where I get off the train station.  Um, pretty sure I never turn down an invitation like that.

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Yep – crappiest picture ever, but I assure you that that was a delicious cheeseburger on a pretzel bun with blue cheese.  I only ate a few fries, because I opted to have beer on the side of my burger.  I had 23 points left going into dinner, so I am calling it a wash for the day.  I got the smaller 5 ounce burger (vs. the 10 ounce burger!) and I was so hungry, my NSV was not eating every.single.fry on my plate.

Short post today, but I feel good about my new permanent job.  It’s been such an interesting year for me!  And Timehop reminded me that two years ago yesterday was my most favorited post on Instagram:

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The day after Tony’s Memorial, my parents-in-law were already headed back to Florida, but my step-son Joe, his wife Lizz and their friend Natalie invited me to go to Chicago with them.  It seems surreal to me now that I was even up for a trip like that, but it was the best medicine.  You can read all about that day here.   But what I also remember about that day was that my blog friend Courtney and her friend Tia, who I am now friends with in real life, dropped by that morning and brought me homemade soup, and all sorts of goodies.  You can read about that here.   While I knew Courtney, I didn’t know who Tia was, and truth be told, I remember being a mess that morning.  After everyone went home after the memorial, I was by myself.  With a box of wine.  With Youtube where you can go down the worm hole of all things emotional and I am confident I didn’t .take off my makeup that night so my eyes probably looked like raccoon eyes.  I didn’t have any plans (unbeknownst to me!) that Saturday morning.  My brother and his family were headed back to their lives, Hannah and Jacob who had been SO helpful with everything and didn’t blink an eye at any request I had, I told them to go home and just relax.

So when there was a knock on my door, I was like “who the hell is that?”  I had my glasses on.  PJ’s that were probably stained, wearing a shirt that was low cut while not wearing a bra.  I opened my back door to see Courtney and Tia and was so shocked to see them, I blurted out “I am not even wearing a bra” to which Tia responded immediately – “no worries, neither am I!”   I knew we’d get along fine after that response.

So two years from that meeting?  Courtney remodeled her kitchen into her dream kitchen, only to then sell her house and move into another gorgeous home – which I am lucky enough to have Cooking Club at.  And Tia – after YEARS of infertility is pregnant and expecting her first child in early summer.   Again, another reminder that life does go on around you even if I wasn’t ready to move on with my life just yet at the time.  But thankfully, I can look back at friends happy life changes these past couple years and know that I’ll be okay with this new life of mine.  I am starting to feel “settled” if that makes any sense.  Not so much anxiety about how I can go on without Tony, but just trying to be proud of myself for getting this far without him.