I usually bring my cell phone into the bedroom with me every night. I don’t know why, but it’s a habit I picked up from Tony. He always had the house phone and his cell phone on his night stand every night just in case. So yesterday morning, I hear a beep on my phone. I pick it up and it’s my Timehop for the day.
One year ago yesterday Tony and I were enjoying sitting outside. I was still working at the restaurant. I just remember how happy we both were to be sitting outside after a long winter, and with him being in and out of the hospital twice already by this time last year. But I am not going to lie, seeing his face right there, when I was just waking up and not prepared for it, I just started to cry. Yesterday was again another first – the first year without my husband, the first year I wouldn’t have him lean over and kiss my cheek and whisper into my ear “everything tasted wonderful – great job.”
I gave myself a few minutes to collect myself, only to wake up and have Hannah sleeping as well as our overnight guest, Hannah’s friends son Carver who is 3. Jacob had to work yesterday, so I decided since I couldn’t get bizzy in my kitchen yet, I’d get my walk out of the way before the day got away from me. It was just what a needed – brisk air, just listening to my music. I find that I have to get music that is faster paced because I tend to walk to the beat of the music. A Pitbull song came on, and while I normally fast forward songs like that, I stuck with it, and one of the lyrics said “But everyday above ground is a great day, remember that.” And while it still stings that Tony isn’t here with me, I know I have to keep putting one foot in front of the other.
And when I got back? Carver was still sleeping – it’s so cute to have a little kid in the house, but I am no where near ready to be a grandma yet. You hear me Hannah and Jacob
So Saturday night I made a really shitty dinner. Like Hannah and I didn’t even want to eat it. I won’t post it here, because I will go back to the drawing board, but thank God I had bread dough rising and after dinner I baked off two amazeball loaves of bread. Whew! When I was in Key West we went into a spice shop called Spice and Tea, and they had sample size bags of a lot of different, unusual blends. I ended up buying 5 for $20, one of them is a Tuscany blend, that they had mixed with olive oil to use as a bread dipping sauce. I decided to use it on top of my bread and it turned out amazing – just the right amount of seasoning.
I had a very low key menu. Homemade bread, roasted asparagus with a walnut pear balsamic glaze (the glaze was store bought!), glazed carrots, ham, fresh fruit and monkey bread. Hannah asked for the monkey bread. I actually haven’t made it since my step-son Joe moved to Texas nearly three years ago!
My Mom brought me daffodils and a really good sauvingon blanc, and carrot cake for dessert – so good! That face of Rummy’s? That her sad face because she wanted to get all up in Carver’s grill when he opened up his Easter basket and we wouldn’t let him on the floor.
It was nice to see my sister-in-law, her son and grandson – which I realized I never got a picture of Chris and Sean but it was great to see you guys! We are still family even though the person who brought us together isn’t here anymore.
One thing that Tony would not have missed had he been here was the “unseen” humor between my family. We just always find a way to laugh, and it feels . . .good. As my Mom was leaving I had Hannah take a bunch of pictures of us, most of the time I like to throw in some goofy ones, but I love the one of me kissing my Mom’s head. And these pictures again prove that I am my Mom’s favorite child and my daughter is her favorite grandchild!
So one of the appetizers I made was a tomatillo salsa. Except I decided to make it more “spring” like and added a whole English cucumber, and it is unlike any “salsa” I’ve ever had but everyone gave it two big thumbs up.
- 8 large tomatillos, husks removed
- 1 English cucumber, just chopped, skin on
- 4 whole garlic cloves
- 1/2 seeded jalapeno (this is that I use when I share it, otherwise I would have added one whole one)
- 1 cup cilantro
- juice and zest of one lime
- 1 teaspoon salt
Put everything in a food processor and pulse until combined. That’s fucking it. No roasting, no baking, no grilling. Just pulse and eat up!
So bright and fresh! And great with tortilla chips or fresh veggies.
I have to give a shout out to blog reader Lisa – when I saw this on Instagram I nearly spit my water out that I was drinking – it kills Lisa, thanks for sharing! So close! #nailedit
So yesterday marked the end of Week 2 of my DietBet and I actually wasn’t nervous about getting on the scale. Yes, I had this amazeball burger with my sister at The Gage on Friday – holy balls was this a delicious burger!
But life is all about balance, so I made sure I got my steps in and did my strength training last week, and knowing how Week 2 of a diet I can get a bit cocky and think “I lost 3 pounds last week, so I can totally do that again” but I really had to be conscientious of my eats, and well, it paid off!
So I lost another 2.2 pounds this week, bringing my two week total to –5.6! I am only 1.2 pounds away from my 4% goal with my DietBet, and I still have until April 20 to lose that. And DietBet sent me a text that I have an 83% chance of winning at this point, based on other peoples weigh-ins to date. But again, I need to make good choices, get my protein in, which actually keeps me fuller longer and I don’t even think about eating in between meals. And since I have to take insulin every time I eat, I am only taking 3 shots a day, plus my night time insulin shot – nice!
I am off to get some walking in before work – I hope you had a wonderful holiday and have planned your meals and exercise this week. Make it a great day!